Gulliver Explores His Darkside

I have it on good authority that Gulliver has arrived in Australia. He is now about to spend some time with a lovely family in a place called Noahs Park.  Gullivers current Keeper is none other than Darkside

Famous on Hubpages for his knowledge, how to hubs and dry wit. Quite the authority on a diverse array of topics and huge appreciater of his lovely wifes cooking. All being well, Darkside will introduce Gulliver to the wonders of goat riding, sheep husbandry and the Prevention Of Bovines On Ones Land.

I m also hoping that some time in the country will aid Gullivers recovery from his current addictions:

• pro-blogging
• coffee
• wine
• bikini clad women
• sunbathing

Or at least that s the plan.

I am trusting Darkside with Gullivers return to his former self, after his little sojourn with Mark Knowles and all that went with spending time in the South of France. Or at least I m expecting Gulliver to shed his love of (almost) Bear naked ladies and wine. I guess he can live with his other addictions.

Gullivers Travel Vallauris

Gulliver arrived safe and sound (relatively) after a brush with customs, which involved tearing his envelope open, a close body search, and resealing with tape marked, “OUVERT PAR LA DOUANE.”

Apart from a little psychological  damage (the words “anally probed” were mentioned but not gone into in great detail,) Gulliver quickly recovered and expressed an interest in following in the Knowles’ footsteps and learning the art of pro blogging.  After a few days, it became apparent that the bear’s typing skills left a lot to be desired. It is a long way from “?” to “1” when you are only a small teddy bear and hit three keys every time you type.

I thought my limited typing skills were bad (2 fingers and 1 thumb) but Gulliver put my mind at ease. After a few days, I eventually persuaded him to leave the typing to me, but he expressed a desire to be “more like Mark,” and vowed to improve. He spent the rest of the work week hanging out in the Knowles’ blogging nerve center, watching and learning.

Sadly – the bear is now addicted to blogging.

Then – at last, the weekend arrived and it was time to have some fun. Friday night – free VIP tickets to the Nice rugby team’s friendly match against the European champions, Leinster. Nice was demolished by the B team, but the bear cheered them on nonetheless.

After it became clear the Nice boys had no chance, the bear decided he wanted to get to know some of the Irish fans who kindly agreed to pose for a photo. A good time was had by all, but the bear drank too much free beer and ended up with a severe hangover.

Sadly – the bear is now addicted to beer.

On to Saturday, where we stupidly helped a friend move house in the worst heatwave since 2003, followed by a dip in said friends mother’s  pool where the bear drank too much Rose wine and got badly sunburned.

Oh well………Sadly, the bear is now addicted to Rose wine, cigarettes and sitting in the sun.

Sunday another day dawns, and despite a ferocious hangover (again) we decide to take coffee at the port, and watch the boats go out. 8 am we are having coffee and croissants.

Sadly the bear is now addicted to coffee.

Now time to hit the beach, where the hosts kindly provided a Teddy bear-sized beach towel allowing Gulliver to do a little bikini watching. Not a good day for it – the good ones come out later the the day, but you take it where you can……